Leaning into it...

One of my favorite bloggers posted this today, and it's right in line with a concept that bubbled over a bit in a few areas in my life this weekend... don't you just love it when that kind of vortex happens?  Gives me those lovely goosebumps of "rightness".

"...nervous energy [anxiety or fear] is often a signpost that what you're about to do matters. The real challenge is to learn to intuit whether the visceral response is shutting down opportunity or keeping you from physical harm.

There are times when it's the latter. And those are the moments, when there is very real risk of physical danger, when you seriously consider the intelligence of backing away. But, in my experience (at least once you're out of your teens), the vast majority of times, it's the former. And that's all about leaning in."

With the help of a few of the amazing people I have in my life, I finally realized last night that the major loneliness I've been feeling for the past month is because I've set myself some legitimately challenging goals.  And given that my tendency (that I'm thankfully in the process of letting go) is to look to a partnered relationship as an escape from, or avoidance of, the challenging responsibilities I've given myself,  I've been feeling desperate for that "security" of a partnered relationship.  But it's not security.  It's avoidance.  And therefore it's hollow and ethereal... a fear-driven echo of the solidly REAL relationships I actually want (and already do have in so many ways) that are based on a foundation of strongly centered and grounded independence.

 

So here's to leaning into the wind.  ;D