Thought for the day: Balance

Just came upon this while washing dishes (thank you to the dish-washing thought fairy).

"Balanced" does not always mean "equal".

(You could replace "always" with "have to" for a subtle variation.)

My thought process: Each of us are unique. We each have our own set of qualities, skills, virtues, faults, challenges, goals, etc... Therefore, in relationships (friends, lovers, familial, partnered dancing, whatever), we each bring our own set of qualities into the mix - some of us are more patient, some more enthusiastic, some more affluent, some more grounded, some more playful, some more imaginative, some more knowledgeable about this topic or another, etc. I realized just now (though I know I've realized this before) that the key to a healthy and sustainable relationship is not to match each other equally, but instead to maintain a balance in whatever each of you brings into the relationship.

I often find myself lured into believing that I need to match whatever someone else has to offer to maintain equality in a relationship, but that isn't realistic (and is therefore inherently unsustainable). I need to remember instead that the qualities that I possess only need to be in balance within the relationship, and that what I have to offer is more than enough to do exactly that.

(Especially when combined with the awareness that I'm not the only one making choices and carrying responsibility for that balance.)

:)

Thought for the day: Own the process.

From today's post from one of my favorite bloggers, Jonathan Fields:

"A leader is someone who is willing to own not just the result, but the process."

This past week was a low one for me as far as motivation and task-tackling goes, so I made myself a poster to put on the wall across from my desk that included the following similar phrases:

"Plans mean nothing without execution" (from Prolific Living)

"Do the work or it'll do you" (from Jonathan Fields)

"Is it furthering your goal? No? Then STOP doing it & do something that IS." (paraphrased from another Jonathan Fields post)

Don't prepare. BEGIN. (not sure where I got this from, but it may be another gem from Prolific Living)

Is it working? Kinda...

Thought of the day: Weed yourself.

Tending your own development is like tending a garden: weed out the stuff you don't want so that the good stuff has room to flourish.

Khrystism #543: Choose your own adventure

"If you don't create the reality you WANT, you'll get the reality you expect." --Me

Essentially what I mean by this is that we choose the occurrences and outcome of every little thing in our lives whether we realize we are making those choices or not. Our subconscious mind works off our expectations, and those expectations may or may not be real or rational in the context of the current situational choice, and they may or may not line up with what we actually want to happen as a result of this situation. So if we don't make those choices consciously towards the end we WANT, then by default we make them unconsciously (or subconsciously) towards the end we expect.

If we don't own up to the choice we are making and take responsibility for it by bringing it into our conscious mind, then we will end up *inadvertently directing the situation* towards the end that our subconscious mind believes is inevitable.

For example, say you are interviewing for a job you really want but don't think you can get (or don't feel you're qualified for, etc). The fact that you don't believe you can get the job or *should* get the job might very well lead you to do/say a million small subtle things that convey to the interviewer that you are not the right person for the position. Simply because YOU don't believe you're right for the position. Stop that. Choose instead to show them the best possible person you can be, and they will see exactly that. And leave it up to them to do their job and decide whether they think you can do the job you're interviewing for, or if you're actually better for that new position they're opening up that they haven't even posted yet!

To paraphrase: If we actively create the reality we want and know to be possible, we can stop ourselves from instead working towards the reality we subconsciously expect.

Note: This is a revisit of a concept originally posted in Nov 2009. It's a lesson I need to revisit often. ;)

Khrystism #657

The only person ever "out to get you" is yourself, because ultimately you are the only person who has any control over ANYTHING in your life.

So get over it. Let it go. Take control. Because your life is no one's responsibility but your own.